Sock Free Hideaway

BEATS OF LOVE

36. Hole by The Jesus and Mary Chain

WHEN SMASH Hits heralded the JAMC to be 'loud, spotty, and weird' on its July 1986 cover, I had discovered my first post-school fixation. Much of my life was spent covering the spots on my chin with Biactol and hiding the ones on my forehead with my ever-growing mop of hair. 

I was already self-conscious and angry before my father died suddenly, so was pretty much tailor made for a no-holds barred descent into the Indie-underground or whatever it's called these days. 

Some eight years later, the three British protagonists that had blown up big; The JAMC, Primal Scream, and The Stone Roses were all releasing albums. Two of which were hotly anticipated, and massively disappointing. However, not many were hotly anticipating Stoned and Dethroned. It is a mighty album that examines failure, addiction, depression, and at times redemption, with a simplicity that still sounds like utter genius. And pre-dates Beck's similarly more lethargic efforts. 

It encapsulates all the musical honesty, integrity, craftsmanship, and transparency that the Roses and Primals were striving for but failed to deliver. The Reid brothers had only ever given us glimpses of their acoustic prowess on b-sides, but here their raw talent is finally laid bare and sounds both effortless and majestic. I come back regularly to the whole album, but especially this song. I reminisce about the constant diaries I kept. The most boring diaries of all-time. 

7th Feb 3 pints, 9 cigarettes, 8th Feb nothing, 9th Feb nothing, 10th 4 pints ,,, etc. 

Diaries that helped me quit smoking and greatly reduce my alcohol consumption. It wasn't just the diaries though: it was the music I played, too. 

Music like this that makes me feel less alienated and less inclined to cave-in when the days feel hard and blank. As they often do.

When I opened that aforementioned copy of Smash Hits in the same summer that I opened my exam results, my life completely changed. My abject failure actually started to become my strength.